Monday, January 7, 2013


Sadie returned to byu on friday.  Friday night I was hit with that awful, and now familiar void as I passed her bedroom. Gratefully, that feeling passes more quickly than it used to. Gentry had a hard time going to sleep without her big sister across the hall.  Sierra remarked on Saturday, "It's kind of sad not having Sadie around, it was actually fun having her home,"  which is Sierra's way of saying that she really misses Sadie.  I overheard Drew taking to Sadie before she left, "Wow, I can't believe you have to go back, I was getting used to having you home".  I appreciated what he was trying to say.  Life is full of transitions.  Some are more difficult than others. I know Sadie is where she's supposed to be, and I know she is having experiences she couldn't have if she was here. So, even though I miss her, I also feel so happy for her.    
     My heart felt a little better on Saturday.  I got up and went for a walk. When I stepped out my front door, I was greeted by this beautiful, peaceful sunlight and fifty-five degree weather.  There is something cathartic for me about being outside, especially this time of year. Walking seems to move me to a thought process that's deeper than my day to day, "What do I need from the grocery store," monologue.  There's so much wisdom to that old adage, "Take a walk, it will clear your head." Often, my walking time turns into a prayer. I love having this time to talk with my Heavenly Father and ponder the path I'm on and where I want it to take me.  Being outside always helps me feel closer to God.  Looking up into a vast blue sky is always a good reminder to me of my own smallness.  I know God knows me, and truly cares about the details of my life, as insignificant as they might be.
     I loved our church meeting yesterday.  This past week, one of the families in our congregation welcomed home their third son from serving a mission in Texas. He shared just a few of his amazing experiences from the past two years.  This same family's oldest daughter has decided to serve a mission and will leave this coming Wednesday to serve in the Independence, Missouri Visitor Center mission.  Talk about packing a lot of emotion into one week. My friend Glenda also sang, "Families can Be together Forever."  Glenda is a stunningly beautiful black women.   Before joining the lds church almost 30 years ago, Glenda was a member of her baptist gospel choir.  Her singing always makes me cry (the good, super-inspired, happy kind of tears)...something that's hard to describe. I love those kind of Sundays.
    The kids went back to school today, and it was nice to regroup.  I'm looking forward to a new year, new growth, and even (to some degree) new challenges.  That's kind of what life's all about, right?  And the best part for me, is knowing that I never have to do this life alone.  No matter what the circumstances, I believe our Heavenly Father will guide us, uplift us, and love us. Always.