Thursday, March 29, 2018

drive


sun roof open
windows down
oxygen (finally)
speed 
escape 
my playlist
my dog

The darkness that won't let go. The frustration. The fatigue.  The reality check (again). 
Treading water.
 And the incredible injustice of the whole thing.

all
for just a few hours
go away


And I consider driving until I reach the ocean. I consider running away. I consider giving up. And I think and cry and breath until I'm done with it.

And then, I put on my big girl pants, and go back to work. 
Because that's what you do when you're adult. 
And there's always another highway. 


Wednesday, January 31, 2018

the here and now

There are only two days of the year when nothing can be accomplished, yesterday and tomorrow.
-Author Unknown

Hello my beautiful readers,
As I type this, I am sitting in my new office. White walls, wood floors, vintage blue rug. Windows open, and a warm, early spring breeze is softly blowing through.  In the distance I can hear our neighbor's
dog barking and kids laughing and playing.

 I am here.
I am present.
I am happy.

 Today is a good day. Today is a day that I
have refused to let painful memories of the past soak up my oxygen and encompass the synapses of my brain. Today is a day that I have willed my thoughts back into the space of now and not the worries of the future.

As I've traveled through this journey of divorce, something has become painfully, yet beautifully clear to me. Divorce will always be with me on some level. The experience of it, and all of the trama associated with it are now simply part of my DNA.
And that is okay.
There will be more hard days.  There will be more happy days.
But I only get to do this day once.
So I am continuing to try and live each day in the here and now.


 
I am choosing to be
present.