Monday, April 17, 2017

I miss.

Hello my little blog,
     I miss you.  I miss normalcy.  I miss a routine that conserved my mental energy and let me coast on auto pilot.   I miss all that was good about my old life.  I miss connections that I've lost.  I miss what I thought my future would hold.  I miss my favorite songs that have now taken on different meanings.  I miss emotional security even in it's completely convoluted form.  I miss my kids having that too. I miss the me that mostly saw the world through rose colored glasses.  I miss waking up in the morning with nothing more than the mundane task of laundry on my mind.  I miss what could have been.  I miss breathing without having to think about breathing.

And sometimes, I miss the old me.  

But mostly, I am so grateful for the new me.  The me that knows how to do hard again, and again, and again.  The me that refuses to give up or back down.  The me that is stronger and better and filled with hope.  The me who understands, on an even deeper level, that I am a trusted and worthy daughter of God. The me that has so much to do and feels so much light ahead .  

Beautiful, happy, healing, joyful
l i g h t.

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