Sunday, May 20, 2012

maybe they really are listening...

This is what I woke up to a week ago on mother's day.  Have I mentioned what a good guy my husband is?

 He also put together this book and each one of the kids wrote a message of love and kindness to me.
My mother's day morning had been perfect so far.  Then we started getting ready for church.  Sadie is always the last one to get in the car, so I thought it was strange when 15 minutes before we needed to leave she said,
Mom, don't we need to go? 
Then 5 minutes before we needed to leave Sierra said, 
Come on mom! Sadie and I are getting in the car.
This was very uncharacteristic behavior for both of them, but I decided they were trying to be on time since  it was mother's day (and I hate to be late to church).   So, we hopped in the car, and arrived right before the service started.  I sat down next to Gregg and he leaned over and said,
Did you see where Sadie is?
Distracted, I looked around,
Well, she was here just a minute ago?!
Then Gregg said,
Look at the pulpit.
There was Sadie, seated next to other speakers, smiling at me.  Apparently she had been asked to be one of our youth speakers for mother's day and wanted to surprise me.  She did.  Keeping my emotions in some kind of balance has become increasingly more difficult  as Sadie gets closer to graduating.  All I could think was,
Oh my gosh, do I have any kleenex in my purse???
Sadie went on to give this beautiful talk revering all mothers.  Then she said she wanted to share an experience that had happened with her mom (I swallowed hard)...

"One day during my sophomore year, I was having a really bad day.  My mom came into my room and asked what was wrong.  I told her and we talked for awhile,  "Nobody understands how I feel" I said.  She sat there for a moment and then said, "There is one person who understands how you feel. Jesus understands.  He understands every hurt, every sadness, and every emotion you will ever experience on this earth.  Maybe you should talk to Him."  Then she gave me a hug and left.  I sat there for a moment.  I had never really thought about this before.  And suddenly, it made sense, and I felt better."

I think we all (as moms) hope that someday, some how, some of our effort and dedication will positively affect our kids in their future journeys.  I have always believed (or at least hoped) that some of what I've tried to teach my kids would make a difference in their lives for good.  And, as I sat there listening to Sadie recount this story, I felt this amazing and all encompassing peace come over me in knowing that she really is ready to go out into the world and begin her own life.  And that, although I am horribly imperfect, I have taught her to know who she is and feel good about herself.  Sadie graduates in four days.  And you know what?  I think I'm going to be ok.  

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