Friday, November 8, 2013

close encounters of the scorpion kind

Scorpions. We built our house right on top of them. If you've been reading my blog for awhile, you know that a story about them makes an occasionally appearance on a post.  And after last night, I decided I needed to record three of our most recent run-ins.  I know some day my kid's kids will appreciate this little tale.

 Last month Sierra was standing in the kitchen when she started making a strange noise that kind of sounded like "mommmm", but not really. When I asked, "What's wrong" and looked up, she was frozen with a panicked look on her face.  I walked over to where she was standing. She pointed to the front of her shirt.  There, sitting perfectly still, was a medium sized scorpion clinging to the fabric of her shirt. "Okay", I responded, trying to sound calm.  "Don't move, I just need to figure out how to get it off!".  About this time, the scorpion decided he wanted to move and started crawling  (very quickly) down Sierra's shirt and moving to the left (are you getting  freaked out yet?!).  So, I had to make a quick executive decision.  I took off my shoe and swiped the front of her shirt (thankfully) sending the scorpion to the ground where he was met with another blow from my shoe.  Sierra had no idea how the scorpion had ended up on her shirt, she just looked down and there it was.

SO gross right?!

It gets better...

Last week Drew walked from his bedroom into the kitchen and remarked, "It feels like something's in my shoe."  He took off his shoe and put it on the counter to inspect.  Two seconds later a very large scorpion crawled out completely intact (at least for a few seconds until it made contact with the same shoe).  Drew was not stung.

But, last night, I believe was the "crown jewel" of all our scorpions run-ins so far...

 I was cleaning the kitchen when Gentry (from the other room) started calling for me. Again, it kind of sounded like "mom" except distorted.  Then it turned into almost a wimpering cry.  I ran down to see what was wrong.  I stepped into the bathroom.  Gentry was white and pointing to her foot.  There, between her middle two toes, was a baby scorpion (the most venomous kind)  wedged head down with it's stinger sticking up between the toes.  How you ask? I have no idea!!! I mean really?!? But, there was no time to discuss the, "how did this happen?" because I was on to  (in my mind of course)  "HOW IN THE FREAK (mormon swear word) AM I GOING TO GET IT OUT WITHOUT STINGING HER???" Gentry, bless her ever faithful heart, was headed in a better direction as she asked with a shaking voice,  "Mom, can we have a prayer?"  "Absolutely!" I replied and followed with a quick and sincere request..."Please bless Gentry to be able to be calm and not be stung."  Then, it was time for action. I yelled for Sierra's help as back up and we designed a plan...This is how it was suppose to go down:    I would slide piece of card stock under the scorpion's stinger and on top Gentry's toe (to protect it)  and then Sierra would grab the scorpion's tail with tweezers and pulled it out. It seemed like it might just work. We all took a deep breath, and then on the final count several  things happened simultaneously.  Sierra pulled, the scorpion didn't budge, and Gentry went into full blown panic mode, pulling her foot away, screaming and trying to shake off the scorpion.  Sierra and I sat and watched in shocked, helpless silence.  Suddenly, after one final, violent shake of her foot the scorpion flew off, and skidded across the floor. I took vengeance with my shoe and sent him off to meet with the previous casualties and  then ran to give Gentry a hug and remind her to breath.  She was crying uncontrollably and I feared the worst.  But finally, she managed to calm down enough to get out, "It didn't sting me!" Okay, so the "calm" part of prayer request may not have materialized, but the "not be stung" part was answered with a huge blessing.

And btw, we really do love having visitors here in Arizona, and in the six years we've lived in this house,  I'm the only one that's been stung. And if you come in the winter (which is the best time anyway) most of our cohabiters are in hibernation.  And we promise to take you to the grand canyon to offset any scorpion fear you may experience.  I do love Arizona, just not the scorpions.

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